Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Shame on me


So, for those of you in the know, I quit my job on Tuesday. It's been a long time coming.

The afternoon before I quit, I was hit with a brutal mixture of dread and enlightenment. I knew I was not meant to assist people with their eBay purchases for the rest of my life, I had something more to offer. I had something more to do.

Music Inspector at work.
Talking to the music inspector than day about my emotional state, I told him it wasn't because I haven't received a raise in 4 years, it wasn't because they were taking away our cell phones, MP3 players and drinking at our desks. It wasn't the lack of respect for things I had done, constantly giving and giving and receiving nothing but a paycheck in return. It was all of it combined.

As an employer, you don't have to do anything for your employees except pay them, just as your employees don't have to do anymore than the bare minimum to get the job done. Employees don't simply just work in your building, they also live there for 8 hours at a stretch. Take away a few creature comforts and there will be a difference, if not in productivity, then in retention.

Below is a letter to the owner. I'm probably not going to send it to him, but if by some random chance he stumbles upon this blog, I'll make sure it's something I won't regret him reading. In any case, he'll probably never see it.

Dear Seth,

You surprised me, you really did. When I mentioned that I hadn't had a raise since I started, you seemed stunned! Your facial expression, your tone of voice, your body language all told me this was a suprise. I believed that you might actually do something about this.

Shame on me for believing.

See, I've been believing for a few years now that things were different than they appeared. The idea that because you are a small business, that there would be some more of a human element to how things were run.

Shame on me.

In April of 2011, my daughter was hospitalized for dehydration. She had a stomach bug and couldn't keep anything down so I stayed home with her for two days, before the doctor told us she would need to be hospitalized. I stayed by her bedside for two more days. I returned to work with a doctors notes and recommendations left and right. months later, when my review came around I was told I took too many days off for illness, that I should be able to find a sitter for my sick child at the last minute in order to not miss work. I was told that everyone else finds a way to make it happen, even though only one other person on the payroll had a child in elementary school. This was my problem, I needed to find a solution. So my wife she would take all the sick days from then on. She's a elementary school teacher and her days off are far more valuable than mine, not just in dollars, but the education of her students and the time it takes to develop emergency lesson plans. She made that sacrifice for me, she's awesome like that. I thought the problem was solved.

Shame on me.

When all the new rules were coming down, I asked Michael (co-president) what was going to be done to help employee morale. I was told school teachers aren't allowed cell phones in their class rooms and how they have metal detectors in the Smithsonian for employees. These security measures are nothing new, they are implemented all over the place. When I countered that teachers make more than $12/hr and Smithsonian employees have a decent benefit package, I was told that I don't have to work there. When you take something away, it's polite to compensate in some way, shape or form. A businessman should understand that.

What gets me though, what really gets me? I don't think you want this. Seth, I've heard so much about what this company used to be and what kind of environment you wanted for your employees. How you want them to enjoy coming to work. Where is that vision now? You have taken the humanity out of the work environment. Don't think so? Try this: You and your wife follow ALL of the new rules: No food at your desk, no beverages, no cell phones, no MP3 players. Eat in the break room. 15 days off a year, including sick days. Working from home is not an option.

If you cannot do this, the very thing you ask of your employees, then you cannot ask it of them. It's that simple.

Good luck, Seth. Honestly. I think you'll find Best Buy a much harsher mistress than you bargained for. I hope you can make it work.

Monday, February 6, 2012

The internet is for cats

I'm bored...

So I'm going to post cat pictures, because isn't that what the internet is supposed to be for?




This is Pheelie (short for Ophelia). She is perpetually cold and seeks warmth and safety at all times. During the Superbowl it was in my lap, which made getting seconds on chili difficult. I'd like to think she was looking out for my Weight Watchers progress. She'd like to think of it as doing whatever she can possibly do the keep warm. My wife has threatened to purchase a coat for her on several occasions. She once brought one home and put it on her, to which Pheelie hunkered down as low to the flow as she could, weighted down with embarrassment and humiliation, refusing to move. While lack of movement is pretty standard for her, my wife decided that the humiliation may soon turn into resentment and returned the coat.


Her favorite spot is next to the boy when he sleeps. Not because of some sort of bond, but because he moves enough in his sleep to annoy Scout (the younger, springier household feline) so Scout leave him alone. Pheelie has figured out that the spot right next to his head is the safest place because the boy doesn't headbang in his sleep. Yet





This leaves Scout. Scout is under a year old and like any small child, spends his days annoying to old folks. The funny thing is that when we were at Richmond Animal League picking him out of the multitude of kittens, he was the most docile fuzzy ball of the bunch. I have determined that this was a clever ruse in order to lull us into a false sense of security. 


I am debating about officially adding an exclamation point to his name because i don't think it's been uttered without one for 5 months. Don't get me wrong, he's sweet and affectionate. He just doesn't seem to understand that sleeping on the laptop is bad. Why shouldn't he nibble on the house plants in the garden window, isn't that just a little salad bar in an atrium? Rubber bands are tasty and incredible fun to have pulled out of your rectum, so why not eat a bunch of them.


Willow LOVES Scout. The chase him around, pick him up, yell in his ear, fling him around kind of love. The standard girl/pet love. I weird part, I swear Scout likes it. If I didn't know better I'd say he was a masochist.


Those are the furry brats. Maybe, if interest is there, I'll talk about the non-furry ones.



Friday, February 3, 2012

Ramblings

Since I wrote a little sumpthin' sumpthin' earlier this week, I feel no need to be filled with guit for not writing something thoughtful for this Friday's entry. However, in order to get into the habit of putting something up, I'm just going to do some free-floating rambling. It should be monumentally horrid, so feel free to lambaste me.

1. I need coffee


Not right this second, but in general. I am being presented with a situation at work at which I may not be allowed to have coffee (or any other beverage or food) at my desk. While I understand that this is to protect the items my company handles, the thought of my being forced to consume one cup of coffee in 15 minutes for a two hour period is absurd. Coffee is a sacrament. It is meant to be savored. If it were meant to be gulped it would be served at room temperature. No coffee is a deal breaker.


2. Women don't f*ck around


This guy once said, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned". Nancy Brinkner decided to test this theory by pulling Komen Race for th* c*re (I can't actually use their slogan without being sued) out of Planned Parenthood. Many people (a majority of which were women) rightly raised a ruckus. Brinker gave a luke-warm apology after 3 days and said Komen's pink posterior would resume taking a seat in the lap of Planned Parenthood. Ahhh, the power on an anrgy estrogen fueled mob. As a man, I'd like to give Nancy a piece of advice. A woman NEVER forgets when you've insulted or wronged her, EVER. You will always be know as "that right wing bitch who put politics above women's health." Your best bet is to resign and take your money laundering raising skills to the Republicans.


3. Love and Tolerate the Sh!t outta you!


I got a bro-hoof from a barista earlier this week. I also had to explain to a co-worker what the big deal about "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" is. Simply put, Lauren Faust did a great job with the Power Puff Girls and has a creative team animating the Ponies. What started as a hipster-ish fascination with nostalgia has turn into a code of ethics for some. That code: Love & Tolerate. Proof is to the right.


What I love about this is that it is what every religion is at its core. Animated. With ponies. Everyone gets a pony.


I'm outta time. enjoy!



Thursday, February 2, 2012

Cats and baths

She's not doing it right. She's supposed to use her tongue.